I probably read all the available papers on Ayahuasca and other plant medicine, consulted with doctors, read all the books, saw all the documentaries, and yet, nothing prepared me for what I´ve experienced in the Oyasin retreat.
Mostly the fear of losing my "grit", the fear of losing my "hustle and bustle", the fear of losing my mind was what kept me up at night. For a couple of weeks I lived in this twilight of fear and excitement. I knew I "had" to do it, but I was terrified of what could do to my personality.
Once I let go, once I crossed the twilight and made the leap of faith, I had the most beautiful experience of my life. Really, that simple. I hope one day I´ll find all the right words to explain it in detail.
The process starts way before the actual retreat, with the extensive preparation coaching sessions from Mo and team, and we only fully understand the depth of the process once we're in it. Looking back it´s almost magical to see the way it unfolded, and to see the love and care the Oyasin team pours into every part of the process, making all of us feel safe, seen and supported.
The preparation also enabled us to trust the medicine, and to fully let go. This way we could go on the deepest inner journey.
It´s been four weeks now, and I've noticed indeed some deep changes in me. The first two weeks were challenging and sometimes confusing, but brick by brick things started falling in to place, with much help from the team, the group of participants - our new "familia", and our weekly integration meetings.
I´m much more relaxed and happy in general, while at the same time more focused and productive. It´s easier to cancel the noise, to see what´s essential, to see the possibilities, the path forward. Indeed things changed. A sense of clarity and purpose replaced a blind and dormant hustling.
“If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca
The tastes are different, the way I see humans and nature is clearer, the way I understand life in all its complexity changed.
It all goes back to that night with Mother Ayahuasca. When I close my eyes I can still see it. That night I was given the capacity to see the world in its immense beauty and in all its dimensions.
Thank you so much.
João Nascimento Serial entrepreneur, 42, Portugal
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